This can be solved if you quickly leave the ceremony and initiate the conversation with your spouse about where you should live.
One jarl in Markhat had the buy house option gone or inkeepers are missing the rumors diagogue. ', 'yes?' The simplest way is to head to the Riften Temple of Mara and buy one from Maramal for 200 gold, but they will also show up in random loot and at merchants. Skyrim spouse dialogue missing manage > setrace skeleton).
